you never get to give it all

200;

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:34:25 GMT

whoa 200th entry uhhh y-yay

I HAVEN'T GOT MUCH TO SAY other than I am dreading college / uni apps hhnnhnn they cost so much sob why

also I recently dyed my hair so maybe I will post pics of that when I get home from work and Reno's little shits are out of the house...

HOW'S EVERYONE'S CHRISTMAS SHOPPING GOING mine is going AWFUL I cannot find ANYTHING AT ALL I am such shit at coming up with good gift ideas. I don't want to cop out this year with gift cards or anything but sadlfknasd oh well there's really only two people I NEED to buy for (hi juunbug and dreamdischarger) but if anyone else wants something feel free to say so and I'll see what I can do!! ;)

ALSO RANDOMLY!!! my job is giving me ARM MUSCLES I mean it's nothing impressive and it's probably pretty pathetic BUT I FLEX IN THE MIRROR EVEY MORNING AND I FEEL LIKE A BAD ASS OK there is a little definition!!!

uhhh so what's new with alla you guys eh

199;

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:09:32 GMT

IT'S SNOWING

AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHHH NOOOOOOOO

well all things considered, it's not that bad aldkfnasdf I mean we usually get snow early-to-mid November here BUT STILL I was hoping for another week or so even if it means snow until April or May. |:

FUCK OFF CANADA /kicks

198;

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:09:27 GMT

【THE TIME CAPSULE MEME】

G-G-G-GO!

rofl today has been a spectacularly shitty day so just leave me a little love for me to see next year! Hopefully this day will not be as shitty hahaha

LOVE FOR ALL MY BITCHES

197;

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 02:02:47 GMT

if I have to do one more delivery at my work

my back will snap into thousands of pieces because it is sick of this bullshit

I have done every delivery in the past few weeks that I've worked there

my bosses are like USUALLY WE DONT ASK PEOPLE TO DO THIS BUT YOU CAN DO IT RIGHT

and I say NO LOOK AT ME I need a stepladder for everything how am I supposed to keep up with biweekly deliveries

and they go LOL OK LETS PUT YOU DOWN FOR THE DELIVERIES THEN LOLOLOLOL

FUCK OFFFFFFF

I had one guy come in and SCREAM AND CURSE AT ME WHAT THE FUCK and I was being super polite and he was on the phone and I need to ask for a phone number every time a customer comes in so they get discounts right? And he FLIPS HIS SHIT he's like "FUCK I'LL CALL YOU BACK FUCK SOME BITCH IS FUCKING FUCK -- WHY DO YOU NEED THIS SHIT FOR" "to give you the discounts..." "CANT YOU FUCKING DO IT SOME OTHER FUCKIN WAY" "no" "WHY THE FUCK NOT" "well because it's really the simplest way and you don't have your card with you" "FUCK JUST GIMME MY SHIT" "you need to pay" "FUCK"

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE WITH THE SHITTY TATTOOS AND THE BLUETOOTH

FUCK YOU

also FUCK YOU SLEAZY ITALIAN GUY "oh such pretty girls working here" "what can i get for you" "you should take of that jacket it is much too big and doesn't show off your figure to everyone" "what can i get for you" "what do YOU like" "everything" "ohhh not picky huh?" "/STONY SILENCE..."

also FUCK YOU TWO-MINUTES-BEFORE-CLOSING-GUY "oh are you closed" "ALMOST" "well can i get this this and this and how much is this and what does this taste like and WHAT IS THE TEXTURE OF THIS is this spicy" "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU --" "rofl dont you hate people that come in when you're closing and talk for hours??!?!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

FUCK THE WORLDDDLDLDSFLKSDN

I am working so much |: I think I'm only getting one day off -- I have a sneaking suspicion that they're going to call me in on Thursday uuuugughghghghghgh so tired

196;

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:51:50 GMT

So work today was NUTS. First of all, I called last night twice to see when I was working but no one ever called me back so I went in first thing in case I had an opening shift only to find that I had come in two hours too early. :/ THEN we find out that the girl who worked yesterday did not stock like she was supposed to -- there were empty shelves ALL OVER THE PLACE and everything was dirty. This made life SUPER HARD when we had a HUUUUUUGE delivery ($16500 worth of stuff) so we just chucked shit anywhere and then had to ORGANIZE IT afterwards and I ended up staying an hour later than I was supposed to because I would have been an asshole to leave the poor lady with all that work.

SPEAKING OF COWORKERS I have only ever met three and two are the store owners / my bosses! Raj and Huntley own the two stores I work at and they are ok! I don`t really have anything to say to them because... there is not a lot to talk about so this makes work super awkward. Raj doesn`t speak very good English and she`s a nice lady but it`s hard to crack jokes. The closest she`s come to a joke I think was screaming BOX FALL ON YOU AND YOU WILL BE DEAD!!!! at me so idkkkk

But Tanya is super nice! She`s like 20 years older than me and has FOUR KIDS and I SOMEHOW ended up telling her my life story / family situation and we bonded over discussing my parent`s divorce (???????) and mutually bitching about the mess the other girl left behind. She also made me a pie and we ate it together.

The delivery guys are super nice too -- we see them twice a week on Mondays and Fridays! We`ve got the one constant guy and whoever he happens to be training. Today it was a HUGE RUSSIAN GUY and I guess he felt bad for me because he`d help me put away boxes while his boss yelled at him. He also told me that if a box fell on me I would die. He kept hitting the top of my head going I MAKE YOU SHORTER HAHAHA I MAKE YOU SHORTER and ALL THIS FOOD MAKES ME HUNGRY TINY GIRL and TINY GIRL YOU EAT THIS FOOD AND MAYBE YOU WILL GROW A BIT BIGGER I don`t know why he yelled everything all the time but it was pretty funny so whatever.

I also had a lady pay a $20 bill with PENNIES AND NICKELS AND DIMES I wanted to KILL MYSELF Tanya just came out and STARED AT HER IN DISBELIEF WITH ME I hope we made her super uncomfortable.

SO YEAH THAT WAS MY DAY.

195;

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 17:17:21 GMT

everyone's doing ittttt

You know how sometimes people on your friendslist post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out. (:

1. First Name:
JANA. It's not short for anything uhh it's just what's on my birth certificate.

2. Age:
EIGHTEEN. Uhhh how do I not make that a one word answer, it's not like it's particularly interesting or anything uhhhhh

3. Location:
Pickering, Ontario, Canada! We've got a nuclear power plant, lots of Canadian Geese and we live a few minutes away from Lake Ontario and I can walk my ass into Toronto -- or, well, Scarborough which is like Toronto but not really.

4. Occupation:
PART-TIMER. Working for a year to save up money for college since I am poor. It's so strange to not be able to put high-school student here uuuugh

5. Partner?:
Happily single, thx. Although I have married failaga twice online SO IDK...

6. Kids:
NOPE!! I would be an awful mother. I would end up resenting my kids so much. I don't have enough motivation to dedicate time to my well-being, let alone someone else's.

7. Brothers/Sisters:
I have one younger shittier brother but he lives with his dad now so it's like I'm an only child now. Aww yissss.

8. Pets:
ONE UGLY DOG. Her name is Maggie and she is a shih-tzu and she's retarded. However she is such a good dog even if she does hate everything that isn't us and she gets SO HAPPY when you give her a cookie or come home. She will FLIP OUT and jump on the spot and fall over. I thought she was dead the other day and I freaked out.

9. List the 3-5 biggest things going on in your life:
1 ummm work
2 ummm
3 uhhhhhh
4 woo hoo I'm spending another weekend alone |:

10. Parents:
I have a mom and a dad and they divorced when I was 11-12 and I live with my mom and I haven't had a proper relationship with my father in... 4-5 years? IDK.

11. Who are some of your closest friends?
I dunno, my circle of friends is kind of fluctuating all over the place. I'm lsdkfn kind of shy and awkward so it's hard for me to make new friends / maintain a new friendship? ONCE I GET TO KNOW YOU I'm retarded all over the place so just beware of what you're getting yourself into when you befriend me. |:

194;

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:58:33 GMT

EVERYBODY'S DOING IT

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever music player you have on random.
Step 2: Post a line/stanza from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike the songs when someone guesses correctly.

THIS WOULD BE A LOT EASIER IF 60% OF MY MUSIC WASN'T INSTRUMENTAL |:

1 You better stop! You gotta think! You gotta do it, oh Ruby!
2 Let yourself let go, 'cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man
~~3 Bury me in honor, when I'm dead and hit the ground~~ Violet Hill; Coldplay, guessed by bluntedge
~~4 I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary comes to me~~ Let it Be; The Beatles, guessed by teostra
5 They started off beneath the knowledge tree and chopped it down to make a picket fence
~~6 And the girl in the corner, let nobody ignore her, because she thinks she's the passionate one~~ Ballroom Blitz; Sweet, guessed by tsururu
7 Wind me up, put me down, start me up, put me down and watch me go
8 Sitting cross-legged on the floor, twenty-five or six-to-four.
9 NE NE PAPA VODKA CHOUDAI
10 Scarves of red tied 'round their throats to keep their little heads from fallin' in the snow
~~11 And the sign said the words of prophets are written on the subway walls~~ The Sound of Silence; Simon & Garfunkel, guessed by teostra
12 Father Mackenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
13 OHHHH WHATCHA SAAAAY
14 The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul
~~15 RAH-RAH-AH-AH-AH ROMA-ROMA-MAH-MAH GA-GA-OH-LA-LA~~ Bad Romance; Lady Gaga, guessed by bluntedge
16 A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers may still become a wolf
~~17 IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULDA PUT A RING ON IT!!!!!!~~ Single Ladies; Beyonce, guessed by myreasoninlife
~~18 Well, I could sleep forever, but it's of her I dream~~ Sleep; The Dandy Warhols, guessed by hallucinashun
~~19 Annie, are you ok? Are you ok? Are you ok, Annie?~~ Smooth Criminal; MJ, guessed by teostra
~~20 Love you are foolish, you're tired. Your sleeplessness makes you a liar~~ Lighthouse; The Hush Sound, guessed by hallucinashun

193;

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:48:08 GMT

this was basically 50% of my french education. Unfortunately all I learned from this was how to tell people that I am a pineapple and pineapples cannot talk or parachute or ride a bike.

192;

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:39:14 GMT

I am exhausted, holy moly. Worked nine hours today and it got FUCKING NUTS.

Today was also pretty weird because my friend-turned-stalker popped up at my work today right in the middle of the goddamn rush. I used to be pretty good friends with him, but he started to get pretty intense -- like getting into drugs and alcohol. He is also pretty self-destructive in a weird kind of way so I kind of... weened him off, I guess. And he's been constantly messaging me and coming to my house at all hours, banging on my door for stretches up to 20 minutes at a time. Or popping up just randomly in stores or at the mall. And now, at my work? I'm starting to get a little edgy, so I'll be censoring what I put on FB (which is kind of sad, considering that it's kind of defeating the point of FB for me, I guess).

S-so does anyone have any advice for me about stalkers?

EDIT; PFFF he doesn't know for HOURS whoopsie.

191;

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:40:20 GMT

fuck you guys this is what happens when I try to be a girl

I BURNT MY NECK, FOREHEARD, FINGER AND EAR DOING MY HAIR FOR WORK goddamnit ahhh

190;

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:54:29 GMT

❶ Leave me a comment with the ~~name of your favorite song.~~ ok no just say that you want it ok
❷ I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better.
❸ Update your journal with the answers to the questions.
❹ Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions.

1. what IS your favorite color

BLUE yeah I like blue

2. why is your rappelz character such a giant dyke geez

WHATS WRONG WITH DYKES HUH /flexes plaid-clad muscles

3. do pandas like burritos or do they prefer the taste of tender human flesh

dave you are my favourite UHHH I guess they'd like bamboo burritos...

4. DO YOU LIKE ORANGE YET

no fuck off it's an awful colour

5. WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE SINGER

YOUR MOM umm Freddie Mercury is a pretty cool guy and I will forever love Regina Spektor ummm yeah

YEAH

189;

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:15:01 GMT

I AM EXHAUSTEDDDDD

Today, I went to IKEA, bought furniture, brought it home, moved my room around for about SIX HOURS and put shit together

WHICH WOULD'VE BEEN EASIER HAD THERE BEEN INSTRUCTIONS IN THE BOXES but everything's still standing so I'm just going to guess that I did it right...

Working tomorrow 10AM-6PM, first day on the job!! Wish me luck.

Also, jumping on the bandwagon rofl rofl

DRAWME!

188;

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:31:31 GMT

I GOT THE JOB

WOOOOOOOOOOOO

It's just a shitty minimum wage job but it's better than NO JOB AT ALL. I start Sunday! COLLEGE MONEY HERE I COME!

187;

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:52:11 GMT

So I got an interview at M&M meatshop at 10AM which isn't too bad except for the fact that for whatever reason I have to walk my ass over to a store that's MILES AWAY and the only way there is through some WEIRD DIRT ROAD THAT IVE NEVER BEEN ON

IF ONLY I WAS RICH AND DIDNT NEED TO SAVE FOR COLLEGE

AAAAAAAAAAA

186;

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:55:30 GMT

I WAS SO BUSY TODAY but I have... nothing to post about alsdkfn it was all so boring uhhh

one thing of note is that I now have an eisel and I am now a true arteest I suppose

it's a heck of a lot nicer than desperately searching for books to prop boards / canvas up against hahaha

uhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyyeah this is pretty boring

185;

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:54:51 GMT

AAAAAAAAAAA

WHY CAN I NOT DRAW ANYTHING WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH ME

WHAT ARE CLOUDS DUDE WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY I HAVE OBVIOUSLY NEVER SEEN ONE EVEN WITH A PICTURE REF RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

WHAT ARE BODIES WHAT IS FORM I DUNNO!!!!

why do I feel the obsessive need to OVERBLEND EVERYTHING ITS OK TO HAVE SHARP GRADATIONS JANA ITS OKAY!!!!

I WILL NEVER GET ANYWHERE IF I SPEND ALL DAY NITPICKING COME ON YOU RETARD YOU CAN DO IT GODDAMNIT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

184;

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:09:11 GMT

So I'm packing up to move into my new room just down the hall and I put on the LOTR soundtrack and epic battle music comes on. I'm bored so I start miming and epic battle with my stuffed animals and my mom comes in.

ME: .....
MOM: ....
ME: Uh--
MOM: FOR GONDOR!!! /punts stuffed animal across the room
ME: PFFFFFT--
MOM: /calmy walks away....

Sometimes she is cool.

183;

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:32:36 GMT

I smell really good right now.

182;

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:42:18 GMT

I

LOVE

GLEE!!

181;

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:51:38 GMT

So I went out and bought The Sims 3 last night, and since it wouldn't let a teenager (Sim Jana) live alone, I had to make an adult. failaga became my daddy-chans.

In SIms 3 you can choose traits to give your sim -- excitable, flirty, insane, mean, hydrophobic, and so on and so forth. I didn't want to make these two TOO retarded, so I only gave them one negative. I gave myself bad luck, and Jack absent-mindedness. I thought it suited us well. And it did. TOO WELL. I regularly broke shit and Jack would walk around going DURRRRRR DURRRRRRR DURRRRRR and occasionally just walk away from what he was doing. Like leaving food on the oven and BURNING HALF THE KITCHEN DOWN. I only just figured out the capture tool, so there are some shenanigans that are left out -- like Jack giving dirty looks to someone who came in off the street to sleep in his bed and me breaking into tears because I somehow managed to break the shower with a gigantic fucking turd.

But anyway, pics.

Hi guys.

I MIGHT BREAK THE FUCKING CHAIRS. I dunno why but whenever anyone helps you with your homework, you guys just sit your silly asses down on the floor.

DOOM IS NIGH except I think this was the one time where they didn't fucking break shit

Jack really likes his work clothes. They make him seem LESS RETARDED.

I always know how to ruin a moment. WE WERE JUST HUGGING OK THEY DO THIS ALL THE TIME WHEN I'M NOT CONTROLLING THEM AHHH

Jack doesn't know what to do with his food and turns to Jana for help.

AND THEN IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY! I got a cake, and blew out the candles and some MAGICAL SHIT WENT DOWN.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

AND THEN!!!

I GOT OLDER, GOT SOME PANTS BUT LOST MY SHIRT.

Despite there being a perfectly good table, we decide to eat outside. Jack is disturbed by my lack of clothes and refuses to be near me.

I hone my guitar skills...

... while Jack appreciates them. I think.

THATS ALL FOLKS.

180;

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:58:22 GMT

OMG

OMG FULL METAL ALCHEMIST 100

what is GOING TO HAPPEN

I can't take thses cliff hangers for much longer....

179;

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:19:13 GMT

MEME TIME

Sharing is Caring! for one week, recommend/share:
~~Day one: a song~~
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy

OKAY SO THIS IS MORE THAN ONE PICTURE

I just love photobombs...

and this never fails to make me laugh...

this just makes me happy (:

178;

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:51:29 GMT

Random lolmoment of the day: my mother just called my name and the song changed to the Jaws theme...

I told my mom this and completely serious, she says, "Oh shit, don't come down here then!! I'll check for sharks."

Sometimes my mom makes me laugh really hard.

177;

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 19:57:17 GMT

What a month! :/ Constant headache / migraines, wahoo. I am as unmotivated as ever -- well, okay, I am lazy. WHATEVERRRRRR

Restarted Suikoden III 'cause I wasn't a high enough level and wtf usually there's a bit more of a lead-up to the final fight and I was so woefully underlevelled. AND YES I MADE CHRIS MY FIRE CHAMPION AGAIN EVEN THOUGH SHE SUCKS shut up I love her the best. ):

I'm gonna be a big fat conformer here and do the meme that everyone and their dog is doing, hurray.

Sharing is Caring! for one week, recommend/share:
Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy

Sleep; The Dandy Warhols is all I've been listening to lately, haha, it's so soothing and quiet.

ALSO finally got around to posting the few things I'd drawn in the past MONTH AH over at idrew_today!

THATS ALL (:

176;

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:19:39 GMT

THE "i've always wanted to tell you" MEME

GO BITCHES